Dear Me: Never Quit Your Dreams |Diary – Day 3

To quit or not to quit?

What’s the answer?

Today, I quit my dream.

Not exactly, but I did something that could make or break achieving my dream.

I quit.

If you don’t know, my dream is to make it to the NBA. You would think that’s far-fetched; I’m a short guard who has no competitive experience since 8th grade AAU, but listen – I can care less.

My ideals are considered reality to me. Whatever I want to do, I go high for it. No one can stop me. No one can tell me otherwise. Naturally there’s a roadblock. Myself. 

Winning against yourself is a daily struggle. 

Only I can get in my way. Today was a case of myself being an obstacle, but the obstacle is more like a chronic ache. You know when you’re fighting yourself to do something and end up not doing it? It’s like that, but my constant fight (war really), is quitting then coming back. 

We all have that “fight” that always frustrates us. I’ve battled over and over – it’s tiring and it’s at the time of make or break. I can’t do it anymore. Something has to give.

Quit, or shove myself out the picture? Be something a lot of people want me or think I should be, or be what I want to be? Live life knowing that I could have accomplished my dream and more, or get to the end goal and more? 

What’s the answer?

Today, I quit my dream. Today, won’t happen again. Today, I decided to never let myself quit in any form when it comes to progressing towards my dream. 

That’s my answer? What’s yours?

Chase your dreams 2.png


Rant: Why Are College Textbooks So Expensive?!?!

I know I’ve been gone a  while, but hey, I have an excuse *I think it’s an excuse*

I’m back at school, dorming as usual, living this college life *not really* – I was god damn busy, alright. I’m taking a total of 17 credits this semester, 5 classes, 3 are online *cause I very much don’t like being in actual class*.

When I tell you my books are expensive, I am not exaggerating at all. I’m taking:

  1. General Chemistry 1 (Major)
  2. Calculus 1 (Major)
  3. General Psychology 1 (UCC)
  4. Basic Spanish 2 (UCC)
  5. Women and Political Leadership (UCC)

The total cost of all 7 books came up to $1368. 

Wtf is going on. Is this what we’re doing now college? Y’all just gonna take my money like I have tissue as $100 bills? Seriously, how can this even happen?

That cost is when they’re new though. If you buy new textbooks, there must not be any other options or you’re ballin. So ashamed at the price of these textbooks. I can’t even.

And with this post, I’m back on WP. I’ve been training for basketball and doing schoolwork on the side *yes, the side cause priorities*, but I’m back…………for now 😉 

I know some of y’all know the college struggle!

Boy laugh then cry

Dear Me: Taking Breaks |Diary – Day 2

Taking breaks usually hurt my consistency and productivity. I have no clue what to do.
Can anyone help me with this problem?

Why do people need to take breaks? Is it truly necessary? Does the time one needs to take a break differ from from another? Is there a way to simply not take breaks? Can we control that urge to take a break? 

These are questions to my main problem with consistent and productivity. I’m the type of person that needs a break after doing some type of work. That usually hurts my performance since I could continue on and do some more work. There’s this pretty simple concept that you can use to continue on working called force. Yeah, you can force yourself to do things. 

Continue reading “Dear Me: Taking Breaks |Diary – Day 2”

Dear Me: Start of Anew | 365 Diary – Day One

It’s time for me to grow as a person mentally, physically, and emotionally.

Change starts now. Join me if there’s an urge of change within you.

At a point in your life, no matter if it’s when you’re younger or older in life, you know when it’s your time to change. My time started this year.

Throughout the year, I just barely began to change myself into who my ideal person, my ideal self. Barely isn’t the way to go when something this grand is your goal – something that not everyone can mentally make it through. Change is unique to all, therefore there is no true concept of evolution that would apply to every single person. How can one change without a concept? You create your own. This is why so many people are stuck in life in my honest opinion. There’s no plan, no end goal, no actual reason that makes you start to change. You can want it all you want. Starting is always the problem, followed by sticking to it. This is where my change starts from, sticking to it.

New, precise, thorough plans that lead me to a better me starts from being consistent. I’m naturally curious, I seek knowledge, I obsess over what I want to know and do; yet somehow, consistency is the main problem. Why is that? Why can’t I follow a schedule without someone holding me accountable? How can I hold myself accountable? How can I find the answer to these questions? When I do, what is the next step? Questions need answers and I have to find them to progress.

Throughout my life, something has made me change at an earlier time than most:

*I changed in 2003 (5 years old) when my sister was born

*In 2006 (8 years old) when reading became a staple of my personality (led to always doing research)

*2009 (11 years old) when I realized how to manipulate others and myself (not in a bad way)

*2010 (12 years old) when the manipulation was now me

*2012 (14 years old) when I learned who I can be

*2013 when life hit harder than it ever had and my true rebel side was brought out

*2014 when I realized I wasn’t going anywhere in life and I was never the one to become a statistic or gang member.

It’s ends there. Why? It’s not that nothing has made me want to change, it’s that I ignored my dreams and instincts that usually tell me what I need to do.

Those years aren’t just me realizing things; they’re times where I literally changed something profound in myself that kids at that age don’t normally do (as far as I know). My dreams and instincts allowed me to do that, which I am forever grateful for. It’s been three years, more like two since change was still going on until June of 2015, since I recognized and began to change. It’s time to listen again. When or why I decided to stop using my dreams as a way to know when to change, I’ll never be able to answer that. It’s done and over with – life moves on and I don’t tend to stay sad for long over what’s happened.

That’s one of the changes I went through. Anything bad can happen. When it does, I laugh at the pain. Laughter kills all sadness and clears the mind of all the stress and worries, opening a clear mind to think of what comes next.

Not to get off topic, my change once again starts now. Only difference now is that I will fully control what I want to change and will work towards strengthening my weaknesses. My blog is going through a change as well if you haven’t noticed over the past weeks. It’s becoming more personal, more me. I’m not going away from book blogging. There’s just more to my life that I’d like to work on along with reading, writing, interacting, and helping others. 

With that, I decided to shift from book blogging to, ummm, life blogging. I don’t have a name for it, lol. If anyone can name it, let me know cause I don’t want to call it life blogging. This is why I also haven’t been on WP as much with all the ideas of change beginning to sprout.

My current goal is consistency with a concentration on productivity. To be specific, that means I’m not consistent, nor do I do enough that leads me to my dream or end goal. So, I will become consistent while doing what puts me on the path to my dream and other things in life. The end goal is seeing and understanding that I am now on that track. More on that in the time to come. This needs to come quickly, and everyone knows (now you know) I like to live by idealism, so I will accomplish this goal quickly. More pressing matters come afterwards, which is why I can’t spend a good amount of time on this goal. More on that to come also.

And this diary comes to a close. First day, the day of complete acknowledgement, comes to a close. I have to say that not only did my dream show me changing by this diary, it showed that I got the idea from James @thisismytruthnow, so shoutout to you homie!

Growth is Optional


Is anyone else going through any massive changes in life? How are they going or why aren’t they going?

Men have feelings too…

Originally posted on Thoughts of a woman revealed:
Have you ever noticed how men will go literally crazy if he even suspects his woman is seeing someone else?  This man will shut all the way down on you and act like you committed murder or something!  I know that as women we really go crazy…

I don’t know how to feel about men cheating being different because of the emotional detachment.

Cheating is cheating in my eyes and there aren’t any excuses. That’s my opinion though. I just can’t wrap my mind around it being that I was raised by all women and see the hurt guys make them go through.

It sucks. What do you guys think?

Thoughts of a woman revealed

Have you ever noticed how men will go literally crazy if he even suspects his woman is seeing someone else?  This man will shut all the way down on you and act like you committed murder or something!  I know that as women we really go crazy too but its something different when a man does it.  It seems like it take his whole soul out of him.  A man can cheat on his woman time after time after time and he says oh it was a mistake or just something that happened then proceed to continue on with his day like nothing happened.

Ladies I want you all to know that a quiet man is a man who is hurt.  As women we should all understand why though and if you don’t let me explain it to you.  Most women who cheat is already cheating for a reason in the first…

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